Introduction: The Blame Game and Misplaced Focus

In recent years, TikTok has become a lightning rod for public debate, with many blaming the platform for a variety of social issues, from the spread of misinformation to the sexualization of young women. However, while these criticisms are valid to some extent, they often miss the more pervasive and systemic issue at play: patriarchy. The real obstacle to women’s empowerment, progress, and equality is not TikTok or any single social media platform—it’s a deeply entrenched societal system of patriarchy that continues to dictate women’s roles, limit their opportunities, and reinforce gender-based inequality.

In this article, we explore how the focus on platforms like TikTok distracts from the broader cultural, social, and institutional forces that continue to hold women back. The problem is not just about “what’s trending”; it’s about a culture that treats women as objects and restricts their autonomy.

Patriarchy: A System of Power and Control

At its core, patriarchy is a system of power and control that privileges men and marginalizes women. It manifests in numerous ways—from political and economic inequality to cultural norms and media portrayals. Patriarchy isn’t just a relic of the past; it remains a force in shaping the laws, policies, and practices that govern societies today.

This system operates on many levels: from the workplace, where women are still paid less than men for the same work, to the home, where women are often expected to shoulder the majority of domestic labor. It reinforces gender stereotypes that limit women’s choices and aspirations. It tells women what they should wear, how they should behave, and how they should express their sexuality. More insidiously, it ensures that those who defy these norms often face backlash or punishment.

The Blame on Social Media: A Convenient Scapegoat

In recent discussions, TikTok has become a focal point for concerns about how women portray themselves and how society consumes these portrayals. The app, where users share short videos, has been criticized for enabling the sexualization of young women, trivializing serious issues, and fostering a culture of instant gratification. While these criticisms have merit, it’s essential to question why women’s expressions of themselves on a platform are so heavily scrutinized.

Is it the platform that is the issue, or is it the patriarchal lens through which we view women’s actions and appearances? When women express themselves through dance, fashion, or beauty, they are often reduced to their physical appearance. The real problem is not TikTok itself, but a society that continues to see women as commodities for the male gaze, regardless of how they choose to express themselves.

Instead of blaming women for participating in these spaces, we need to ask why their autonomy over their own image is questioned in the first place. It’s not about the platform—it’s about the deeply ingrained patriarchy that treats women’s bodies as public property for judgment and control.

Women’s Empowerment: More Than Just Visibility

Women’s empowerment cannot be reduced to the number of views or likes a woman gets on TikTok. Empowerment isn’t just about being seen; it’s about having the ability to define oneself, make choices free from societal constraints, and have equal access to opportunities. While social media has undoubtedly provided a platform for women to reclaim their voices, it’s essential to understand that empowerment goes far beyond self-promotion or digital visibility.

True empowerment means women having the autonomy to decide their own futures, unencumbered by patriarchal structures that dictate their worth. It’s about ensuring women have the right to access education, control their own bodies, make career choices, and have a seat at the decision-making table. These are the real measures of empowerment—not the fleeting popularity that comes from viral content.

Moreover, women’s empowerment requires a dismantling of the patriarchal systems that control access to resources and opportunities. Whether in politics, the workplace, or even in the home, systemic barriers must be broken down. It’s these barriers—not a video-sharing app—that prevent women from truly thriving.

The Double Standard: Policing Women’s Choices

One of the most pervasive aspects of patriarchy is the double standard that women face in terms of their behavior and appearance. When women express their sexuality or assert their opinions, they are often labeled as “attention-seeking,” “immature,” or worse, “unworthy of respect.” Yet, when men behave in the same way, they are often applauded or rewarded. This double standard extends to everything from dress codes to the expectations placed on women in both professional and personal spaces.

TikTok, in particular, has been a lightning rod for this type of policing. When women post videos that celebrate their bodies or express themselves in ways that challenge traditional gender roles, they often face harsh criticism or objectification. Instead of celebrating women’s agency and autonomy, the conversation tends to focus on whether their actions are “appropriate” or “respectable.”

The problem is not the platform—it’s the enduring belief that women’s bodies and actions exist to be scrutinized and controlled by others. Patriarchy teaches us to focus on women’s behavior and appearance, often at the expense of their contributions, ideas, and potential.

Breaking Free from the Patriarchal Framework

To move forward, we must break free from the framework that equates women’s value to their physical appearance or their ability to conform to societal expectations. Rather than focusing on platforms like TikTok, we should focus on dismantling the patriarchy that enforces these harmful norms.

This means advocating for laws and policies that promote gender equality in all areas, including the workplace, healthcare, and education. It also means challenging cultural norms that limit women’s choices and creating spaces where women can truly be themselves without fear of judgment or retribution.

We also need to create a cultural shift that acknowledges women’s autonomy and allows them to express themselves freely—whether through social media or in the real world—without facing judgment, censorship, or backlash. Women should be able to define their identities, assert their rights, and make their own choices, free from the chains of patriarchy.

Conclusion: Reclaiming the Narrative

It’s time to stop blaming platforms like TikTok for the societal issues that arise from patriarchy. The real problem lies in a system that seeks to control, silence, and limit women. Women’s voices, bodies, and choices are not the problem—they are the solutions. The focus should not be on policing women’s self-expression, but on dismantling the structures that keep them from thriving.

True empowerment will only be achieved when society recognizes that women deserve the freedom to express themselves in all their complexity, without the interference of patriarchal ideals. Until then, the conversation should be less about platforms and more about breaking down the systems that limit women’s potential.